Listen…Yes listen! Listening is is one of the highest forms of respect you can give someone…

Hello there folks,

One of the most important skills I teach in my courses is the power of Active Listening.

Aside from the benefits of building connection and rapport with the others, when done well Active Listening can also be used to effectively interrupt the speaker and reduce your frustration if they are monopolising, derailing or are emotionally upset.

The 3 step approach to active listening:

Step 1: Non-verbal signals: nodding, eye contact and verbal acknowledgements: ahuh, ya, I see, ok, got it (over their words).
Step 2: When they stop speaking summarise what you heard them say: “If I understood… is that correct?”
Step 3: Invite them to continue speaking and finally redirect with a question or suggestion.

The 4 step approach to active interruption:

Step 1: Non-verbal signals: nodding, eye contact and verbal acknowledgements: ahuh, ya, I see, ok, got it (over their words).
Step 2: Interrupting by: saying their name with a downward inflection then pause. When done effectively the speaker will stop for 1 second, so be ready to jump in and move to the next step.
Step 3: Summarise what you heard them say: “If I understood… is that correct?”
Step 4: Finally redirect with a question or suggestion.

The key to success:

I don’t know about you, often in conversations I’m so busy thinking about what I want to say in response that I’m not always fully listening to the other person. By making myself summarise what the other has said, it forces me to listen more carefully. If the person was upset I see the other person calm down quicker and often become more open to my point of view! When to summarise:

  • When you want to build rapport
  • When you need to buy time
  • When you need to interrupt effectively (and only interrupt if there is a reason e.g. time pressure, want to clarify what you heard)
  • When you are about to disagree or give bad news.

And now for a bit of inspiration, here is a link to a short video with Kevin Sharer, CEO of Amgen, about how learning to listen actively has made him a much more successful leader:

https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/leadership/why-im-a-listener-amgen-ceo-kevin-sharer

Happy partnering!

Amy