During trainings, participants will sometimes admit to having an arch rival who they absolutely can’t stand.

A colleague who rubs them the wrong way or completely frustrates them.

At this point I usually ask them if they’re up for a challenge. After I get a hesitant head nod I jump in and say “OK, great, here’s your assignment: For the next 2 weeks your job is to treat that person as if they are your buddy, your friend, your mate.” 

I explain they are to interact with that person as if they were someone they like, as if they were already good friends.

After a horrified reaction and insisting they can’t possibly do that because they would feel like a fraud, I challenge them again and ask if they’re willing to step out of their comfort zone and be surprised.

Here are some behaviours to use 

While interactions remain virtual, use these behaviours:

  1. Ask them questions
  2. Use active listening when they are speaking (click here for video on active listening)
  3. Laugh at their jokes, even when the jokes aren’t funny (cause you know you do that with your real friends sometimes)
  4. Wish the person a good weekend with upbeat and friendly energy

Once you’re face to face again, include these behaviours:

  1. Sit next to them in meetings 
  2. Make eye contact with them and have a soft smile
  3. Offer to get them a coffee/tea when you’re getting yourself one 

You will feel like a fraud and inauthentic at first. Don’t let this stop you. Use these behaviours consistently for 2 weeks and watch the results. 

WARNING: there’s a very high probability that you are going to start liking this person. Good news, your feelings of inauthenticity will dissipate and you may even become buddies!

Read this article by clicking the image…

…and discover how being good to others can be good for you too.

Treating other people well isn’t just good for you karma. It’s good for your health and vitality, too!

This quick video is food for thought:

The Science of Kindness

Happy Partnering!