The 5% Club refers to individuals who are always going to be miserable no matter what, meaning no-one can positively influence them!
Years ago, before I mastered the Partner behaviours and attitude, I used to think that 50% of the world was in the 5% Club! (Even an kid with basic math skills knows that doesn’t add up!)
What I came to realise is that when I would go Predator, this triggered others to misbehave as well.
Now that I live in the zone of Partner most of the time, I can truly say that there is a very small percentage of the population that I’m not able to positively influence. The question for you is how can you manage a true ‘card-carrying 5% Club member’?
Here are my suggestions:
1. Be sure that you’re showing up as a solid partner. This way you know it’s probably not your behaviours or attitude that are triggering the other person to misbehave.
2. Make up a story to explain their misbehaviour. A story I tell often myself is “this 5%-er may have endured very challenging circumstances in their childhood, and as a result this is the best they can do.”
3. SLOW DOWN! Move and speak slowly, respond calmly and concisely. It’s practically impossible for people to fight in slow motion. This may even have some impact on the 5%er and encourage them to calm down.
4. Remove yourself from the situation as soon as it’s possible.
And finally as a bonus and a way to contribute to their healing, send those 5%ers a bundle of love & positive, green vibes!
Good luck and happy partnering,