Often when a person becomes a member of an exclusive group, they join the “in-crowd”. This is where the “us” and “them” phenomena can develop.
Once a person becomes an “in-crowd” member, there is a tendency towards an increased sense of entitlement, and decreased empathy towards others (outside of this group).
As a result, there is a risk that these people may use their positional power over others to dominate or intimidate. Within the Predator, Prey, Partner model® we call these “Power Plays”.
If you’re feeling under pressure, intimidated or aggressed, it’s possible that you’re caught in a Power Play.
Here’s the shorthand version of how to handle yourself when on the receiving end of a power play. Your focus needs to be internal and external:
- Ask yourself, is this person a member of the 5% Club? If yes, review Newsletter 21 Point 3.
- If not, ask yourself, is there something I did (in my body language, voice, words) that may have triggered this behavior? If so, what can I adjust in order to recalibrate the power dynamic? If you don’t think you triggered it, the following guidelines will still apply.
- Increase or decrease your perceived competence or likeability, still staying in The Zone. What I mean by that is:
- Maintain eye contact, a soft smile and keep sentences short.
- Slow down the speed of your speech and body movements.
- Your job is to act like all is well
By applying the points above, the person using the Power Play, will find it difficult to continue misbahving and begin to adjust their own beahviours.
If you find yourself in this situation, stay Partner and be sure to write to me and tell me how you turned this situaton around into a successful Partner exchange.