This is the next installment in our series of great tips and tricks to help integrate the Partner Mindset and behaviors® into all aspects of daily life. The intention is that this approach becomes your automatic response in any challenging situation!
Let's discuss Power Plays. Often when a person becomes a member of an exclusive group, they join the 'in-crowd'. This is where the 'us' and 'them' attitude can develop. Once a person becomes an 'in-crowd' member, there is a tendency towards an increased sense of entitlement, and decreased empathy towards others (outside of this group). As a result, there is a risk that these people may use their positional power over others to dominate or intimidate. Within the Predator, Prey, Partner model® we call these 'Power Plays'. If you're feeling under pressure, intimidated or aggressed, it's possible that you're caught in a Power Play. Here's the shorthand version of how to handle yourself when on the receiving end of a power play. Your focus needs to be internal AND external: Internal
Ask yourself, is this person a member of the 5% Club? (If yes, review Newsletter 21 Point 3 or my Blog post, one before the last).
If no, ask yourself, is there something I just did (in my body language, voice, words) that may have triggered this behavior? If so, what do I need to adjust in order to recalibrate the power dynamic? If you don't think you triggered it, the following guidelines will still apply.
Increase or decrease your perceived competence or like-ability, still staying in The Zone. What I mean by that is:
Maintain eye contact, a soft smile and keep sentences short. Slow down the speed of your speech and body movements.
Your job is to act like all is well
Great news! Thanks to her clever and persistent virtual team, Amy is more fully embracing social media, be sure to check out all links below.
Amy's wanderlust continues too! Her next Open Program will be announced before the end of November and it is going to take place in, wait for it: BALI!!! Look out for details on 'The Complete Retreat' coming soon on Amy's website:
This Month's Success Story:
Actions speak louder than words, and we just love sharing the successes that our clients get by using these techniques. Remember, if you share your success with us and it appears in our newsletter you'll receive 10% off my next Open Program which is taking place in BALI inJune 2020!
An amazing thing happened today. And I can chalk it up to refusing to become prey. Tuesday and Wednesday were full with meetings. I was one of 4 business owners presenting needs to the Systems and IT teams. This was VERY COMPLEX and detailed stuff, and the meetings were contentious at times. I presented clearly and concisely on over a dozen issues and for the most part, my points were very well taken. Yet there was one issue that my boss (not at the meeting) had been championing, on which I had not been privy to all the details. Whilst I understood the issue from a high level, I was not prepared to speak to the details. A Sr. Director in the meeting jumped all over me for this and would not let it go. No matter what I said, he just hammered away at me. So I looked him in the eyes and said nothing till he stopped talking. Then I repeated that I did not fully understand the complexity and that I needed the help of those in the room to paint an accurate picture of the issue and to help scope the solution. Because this guy had been so aggressive, just about everyone jumped to my aid. I had IT guys explaining their part, and system guys saying theirs, and reporting guys saying theirs, and fellow team members jumping in with their perspectives. I didn’t take the attack personally. I didn’t even feel bad (OK maybe for a moment I did!) Still, I refused to go into prey mode. I stayed in partner stance. Now, here’s the amazing part. Today, when I got back from lunch, this Sr. Director stopped me in the hall and apologized profusely. He said he had no right to attack me even once, let alone repeatedly. He said he lost sleep over how he had behaved toward me and he wanted me to know how sorry he was. I thanked him, accepted his apology and shrugged it off with a smile. As I was walking away he said, “Don’t worry. We will help you with this issue.” AMAZING! Truly AMAZING!
A converted Partner!
* Check out my web page for more tips on active listening and communication skills www.carrollcoaching.com
Also do not forget to listen to my Podcasts and Webinars for some real-life examples of how the Predator, Prey, Partner® model has worked for many of my clients.
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