Never Say you are Sorry


Imagine a world where communication was consistently effective, where misunderstandings were easily rectified and conversation was productive...

Amazingly I don't believe you need mood altering substances to achieve this state!

Just keep reading...

Happy Partnering,


In the office and at home

Never say you are sorry...

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for politesse and taking responsibility when you've made a mistake.

Though, in many cultures, people have a habit of saying sorry for all sorts of things they don't need to be sorry for. Some people do this more than others.

Here's a simple test to find out if you're a "chronic over-apologizer":

Do you find yourself apologizing when someone else bumps into you??

If so, you might be one of those over-apologizers.

The hidden danger in saying sorry and why you want to change this habit:

Too much apologizing can trigger a predator reaction from others. It can communicate you hold more respect for others than you do for yourself and this can make you appear vulnerable.

As a result, they may mistreat you.

Hopefully this has produced enough awareness and motivation in you to want to kick the habit.

How to shift the habit/an alternative:

Instead of apologizing, thank the other person.

For example, if you're late: "Thanks for waiting", "Thanks for your patience", "Thanks for your understanding". Or if you get corrected: "Thanks for your explanation " or "Thanks for your support".

The more you practice this, the more you will command the respect of others.


Remember this change probably won't feel comfortable or natural to begin with and for a little while every bone in your body will want to drop to the ground and scream, "I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!"

You don't have to like doing it, enjoy it or feel authentic. Do it anyway, fake it and the comfort, confidence and respect will come in time.

Don't take our word for it

Actions speak louder than words, and we just love sharing the successes that our clients get by using the Predator, Prey, Partner techniques.

Here is this month's success story:

Dear Amy,

Let me take this opportunity to thank you for your training. There have been very few training programs in my career that have created a willingness to change some (or a lot) of my behaviour.

Your training was definitely one of the best.

Thanks in advance,

EA. Product Specialist Cardiovascular, Russia

* The Predator Prey or Partner™ model is a licensed content created by Pat Kirkland of Pat Kirkland Leadership Inc. Founded in 1990, PKL ( is a company with a purpose, the "soul" purpose of creating a world that works together better. Its business mission is to offer practical, powerful communication programs teaching people how to transform their work relationships by changing how they communicate.

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Predator, Prey, Partner is a trademark of Pat Kirkland Leadership Inc.

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