Trying is Lying


Imagine a world where communication was consistently effective, where misunderstandings were easily rectified and conversation was productive...

Amazingly I don't believe you need mood altering substances to achieve this state!

Just keep reading...

Happy Partnering,


In the office and at home

It's time to look at removing another unhelpful word from your vocabulary (we gave 'but' the treatment a few months ago!) This month we are going to get rid of 'try'.

Why get rid of 'try'?

It may seem that this 3-letter-word is relatively harmless, until you start paying attention.

How do you feel when people say they are going to 'try' to get something done?

Do you notice not feeling confident it will actually happen?

This innocent little word undermines trust, confidence and as a result, relationships.

What people say:

  • I will 'try' and get the project complete by the end of the week.

  • I will 'try' to get to the meeting by 3pm.

  • I will 'try' to quit my habit of...

What people are really saying when they use the word 'try':

  • "I can't promise or guarantee that I will do something."

  • "I am not really committed."

  • "I would rather say 'no' and for whatever reason, I can't."

Change always starts with us:

When we eradicate 'try' from our lives, we become models of excellence in our communication.

To achieve this, we need to replace the word 'try' with more accurate language.

Next steps:

For more direct, honest communication, replace 'try' with one of the following:

  • I can/can't

  • I will/won't

  • I do/don't

  • I'm practicing

  • I'm intending

Here are some examples:

"Unfortunately, I won't be able to get you the report by this afternoon. I can do it for tomorrow by 11h00."

"I don't know if I can be there by 3pm, can I call you by 1pm to let you know?"

It may feel uncomfortable at first to be so direct. So practice in less critical situations or with friends to build the muscle.


Here's another really important reason why you want to avoid 'try', especially when talking to yourself.

For example: "I'm trying to give up smoking."

Your unconscious mind is very literal as well as incredibly powerful. It can help you achieve significant goals. Meaning, whatever you say, it will believe and do everything to make it a reality.

When the unconscious mind hears 'try' it hears, "Oh, I guess I don't really need to make this happen.” Instead, if you say to yourself, "I'm quitting smoking” or even better, "I quit smoking” even if it is not the current reality, your amazingly unconscious mind now has the clarity and ability to increase your success.


How your world would be if you never 'tried' again and simply did or did not.

How much more would you be trusted?

How would your relationships improve?

And for you Star Wars fans, remember what Yoda said: "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."

Give it a go, we dare you!

Don't take our word for it

Actions speak louder than words, and we just love sharing the successes that our clients get by using the Predator, Prey, Partner™ techniques.

Here is this month's success story:

Amy, I used your tips at my interview and now have a full-time teaching job!

Many thanks,

T.K., Workshop attendee

* The Predator Prey or Partner™ model is licensed content created by Pat Kirkland of Pat Kirkland Leadership Inc. Founded in 1990, PKL ( is a company with a purpose, the "soul" purpose of creating a world that works together better. Its business mission is to offer practical, powerful communication programs teaching people how to transform their work relationships by changing how they communicate.

Photo credit:

<a href="">(c) Can Stock Photo</a>

#amycarroll #carrollcommunication #PredatorPreyPartner #communication #tryingislying


© 2020 Carroll Communication Coaching Sàrl Tel. +41 79 653 54 23

Predator, Prey, Partner is a trademark of Pat Kirkland Leadership Inc.

  • Twitter Clean