A while ago, I was on vacation and travelling to a community that I thought would be particularly eager to hear about the Predator, Prey, Partner model.

Since I love sharing this model (even on holiday), I contacted an organization a few months prior to my trip and offered to provide a workshop for no cost. They replied enthusiastically.

Fast-forward 2 months… 3 days prior to the scheduled event I received an email cancelling the event. Their reason: not appropriate for the community. Literally that’s all they said!

Needless to say, I was surprised, disappointed and frustrated. Luckily, I had just been attending a 5-day conference on NVC (non violent communication) and was with a few fellow NVC-ers who gave me “emergency empathy”. This support and reflection helped me to resist replying with a predator tone (such as: do you know who I am?! Who are you to cancel without even giving me a reason!).

Thanks to the emergency empathy I was able to send the following response:

Good morning, Isadora, and thanks for your message.

You can imagine I’m surprised and disappointed to receive this news. As I’ve seen the power of this model transform people’s relationships and lives in a non-violent way, I’m sad not to share it with your community. On both a personal and professional level it would be valuable to understand what may have influenced your decision. It would really support me if you would be willing to share what was inappropriate for the community?

Warm regards,


Now this is where it got interesting…

After sending my email, I received a reply which gave further explanation for their decision. Then shortly after that I received another email from the same person with an apology and an offer to join an event they were hosting the following weekend, the theme… communication…

If I had allowed my ego to drive my initial response to the cancellation, I seriously doubt they would have been motivated to extend an offer for the weekend event.

So like all Partners wishing to keep challenging themselves, I swallowed my pride, put my ego to the side and accepted their offer enthusiastically.

Stay tuned for the next newsletter to find out what happened when I delivered the workshop…

Happy Partnering!